Cold Tears
by Arakan7
Summary: He doesn't understand why she is crying over him. She doesn't understand why he's so cold to her.


**Cold**

by Arakan7

It was an exhausting quest but they fulfilled it: the destruction of Nirvana and the elimination of the Oracion Seis dark guild. To his credit, Natsu also had the distinguished honor of being the one who defeated Zero, the Master of the Oracion Seis. It was an incredible battle, everyone could feel the waves of power that the Fire Dragon Slayer unleashed against the monsterous Zero. Erza, for her part, was very proud of the fact that her little pink-haired flame eater had reached such a plateau of power. And yet, she was dreading the moment when she saw him again, however, it was to be expected. The two most important men in her life, between whom had just a few months before traded blows in a near life-or-death battle, had worked together to bring down Nirvana. She secretly hoped that Natsu was over his fury with Jellal but hearing about his strong reaction to finding out that he had survived was less than reassuring.

But now, it was for naught. Jellal was taken away by the Magic Council. She was close, so very, very close to leaping at the Council forces to free Jellal, but she didn't. She shivered as a cool win blew through and she wrapped her arms around herself for a bit of warmth. A rueful smile graced her features as she sat, her back to a stone that served as her only companion during the last hour or so.

Natsu…he did was she wanted to do. The sight of him throwing himself against the forces of the Council to free Jellal for her sake… She felt a tug at her heart at his selflessness. Were it not for Jellal, maybe Natsu could be more than just her precious nakama… Maybe… She wiped her eyes as she pushed herself to her feet. Odd, she didn't feel as cold as she was a moment before... She shook her head ruefully - what was she thinking? There was no way; Natsu didn't see her like that. He was family to her and she to him. She pushed any more notions of romance with the pink-haired Dragon Slayer out as she mentally prepared herself to rejoin her comrades, thankful that they had given her time to alone to recompose herself. She turned and looked out over the small valley, a wistful smile on her face as she remembered Jellal's expression as he was led away.

"Farewell, Jellal. My love…"

* * *

Lucy sat next to the fire, her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes dully watching the flames dance before her. There was no joy in her tonight despite surviving such a dangerous mission. Erza, the woman that she looked up too as a big sister, was in an unbelievable amount of pain. Losing the man that she loved like this must have been such a blow to the normally strong and infallible Titania. There was none among the group that did not feel bad for her. It was why there were all here, giving Erza time to herself to grieve. She was concerned especially for her two teammates Natsu and Gray. The three of them were arguably the most tight-knit group in all of Fairy Tail and even though they included her in on the team, she still sometimes felt as though they were their own little family unit and that she was intruding. They never made her feel that way intentionally though and she knew that they'd deny ever doing such a thing as to make her feel left out by them.

She glanced over Gray who was leaning against a tree, arms crossed and a serious expression on his face. He had stood like that for a good while now but she could see that occasionally he would ball his hands into fists before releasing them after a few breaths. Gray easily picked up on the reason for Erza's distress and was the one to tell everyone to give her some space. Amazingly enough, both he and Natsu pretty much kept to themselves as they waited, not bothering to talk, much less fight as they usually did. While Lucy knew that Gray figured out what was wrong intellectually, she really couldn't say the same for Natsu but his almost lethargic behavior was a tell-tale sign than he knew something was wrong with Erza and that it was a private matter. A perpetual frown marred his normally lively face and even though Lucy had asked earlier about Jellal, Natsu didn't reply at all. In fact, his frown had deepened, startling Lucy a bit before he got up and left the circle of their comrades.

"Just leave him alone, Lucy," Gray said not unkindly. "If Natsu's still mad at the guy, it's for a good reason."

"But if he doesn't remember what he did," Lucy began but Gray just shook his head.

"Even so, it happened. It's not that I feel bad for the guy, I feel worse for Erza." He sighed and ran a hand through is hair. "It's really complicated and Natsu doesn't do complicated."

Lucy nodded. Sometimes she was envious of Natsu's lack of thought processes in regards to certain things but she knew that he must have been feeling something. Everyone knew that Natsu had defeated Jellal back during the Tower of Heaven incident and that they all came very close to dying due to the Etherion. What Natsu didn't know was that Erza had confided in Lucy about some of the details of the fight that she was awake for – the uncharacteristic rage that Natsu had shown towards Jellal and her thoughts that Jellal had been the one to guide Etherion into the heavens instead of her. What she never got was Natsu's side of the story and he never told anyone what had transpired, leaving it to Erza's explanations to satisfy any curious soul. But his reaction to Jellal… there was something else behind the scenes…

The leaves rustled and for a moment, everyone's hackles raised up. Only Jura kept his poise but his eyes had darted to the place where a moment later Erza emerged.

"It's me," she said in a soft voice. "I apologize for keeping everyone here on my account."

"Geez, it's not something you gotta apologize for, Erza," Gray was the first to speak. "None of us were gonna go anywhere without ya."

Lucy smiled and nodded in agreement, along with the majority of the Light Team.

"Erza-san did so much for us," Hibiki gave a little bow in her direction, "It would shame not only the pride of Blue Pegasus, but my own, to have left ahead of you."

"Thank you," Erza's smile was grateful but Lucy could tell that most of it did not reach her eyes. She glanced around. "Where's Natsu?"

_'There it is again, always concerned about Natsu more than anything'_, Lucy thought.

"Dunno. The flame-head just walked off without a word to anyone, as usual," Gray scoffed. He failed to see Erza's eyes narrow slightly at the revelation. "I'm sure he'll be back once he gets hungry."

"It's okay, I'll retrieve him," she turned and walked back into the bushes.

"H-hey! We don't even know where we went! Erza!"

"I'll be fine. He's not as difficult to find as you may think," the red-haired mage reassured her, disappearing into the forest.

* * *

_WHUMP!_

The dull shock of flesh and bone upon stone resounded in the cool air.

_WHUMP!_

_'Dammit all…'_

_WHUMP!_

_'Dammit! Dammit!'_

Natsu slammed both fists against the rock, the hackles on the back of his neck standing straight. He hated seeing her like this! Erza wasn't supposed to be all weepy and sad over some guy who had done so much against her – against them all. People were dead because of him! Good people! People who never had a chance! Even though he had accepted the fact that Jellal might have forgotten his evil deeds and that he genuinely wanted to help Natsu back there, he knew that he'd never like the guy. What made him even more upset is that he really didn't know why.

Bah, that wasn't true, he knew why… With him around, there was a chance that Erza would 'change'. Not like change her hairstyle, or her clothes, or even how she acted. He didn't know how she would change, but he knew that she would, and it scared him. Because…Erza loved that man.

Natsu casually let his head impact the rock he was standing in front of. The short-lived flash of pain did nothing to ease the furious racing of his heart. Was he … jealous…?

No, he couldn't be! Erza was his comrade, one of his best friends! To be that possessive of her would be … wrong. But still, he'd rather lock her away than to let her get anywhere near him. But apparently, she had done the same to him – keeping the fact that she was with Jellal this entire time while he was getting beaten up by Zero… He'd fought for Erza, bled for Erza, and would die for Erza – all against that man Jellal and yet, Erza loved him. Why?

"Dammit it all!" Natsu yelled, the frustrations of his mind finally spilling over. "I just don't get it!"

"Don't get what, Natsu?" To his right, Erza appeared, holding a branch that she moved as she emerged from the bushes. "What has you out here yelling at such a late hour?"

"Erza…" Natsu cringed, imaging that she was upset and had come to 'collect' him but something in her voice carried no hint of annoyance, just curiosity. He tilted his head at her. "…should you even be up? You're hurt pretty bad."

Erza noticed that he had ignored her question completely – something he didn't normally do. She beheld the fist-sized indentations along the rock and her concern grew. "I'm fine," she answered automatically. "I wasn't hurt any more than you were."

"You know what I mean," Natsu replied, his voice lowered to a softer yet more intense tone, one that Erza was not as familiar with but had heard on occasion when the two of them were alone. It was the same tone that he had used when dragging her out of the Tower of Heaven's lacrima, declaring – to him – that he would hand her over to no one… She held her left arm at the elbow, her face softening at the memory…

"I'll … be fine," she smiled. '_You're always with me, so I'll be fine, Natsu.'_

Natsu looked to his right, his eyes lowered. "Ah…I see."

_'Liar'_, Natsu thought even as he spoke, his right hand, hidden by his waist, balled into a fist. '_I know you better than that.'_

"You didn't answer my question, Natsu," Erza reminded him gently, stepping closer. "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"About?" She prodded, growing slightly annoyed at his sudden dodging.

He looked right at her for a moment, his eyes bright with some unnamed emotion. "You," he said finally.

Erza's eyes widened, feeling a blush come over her cheeks. For some reason, the way he said it touched her deeply, like a gentle, reassuring caress. "Natsu…"

He turned his back to her, as if to avoid her gaze.

"Natsu, may I ask you a question?" She saw him give an indifferent shrug. "Why did you fight to keep Jellal here with us?" '_With me?'_

The pink-haired young man huffed out a quick breath. "He helped me in my fight against Zero. I owed him that much."

Erza narrowed her eyes. "That was stupid Natsu! What if the Council arrested you too?! You can't not think about these things!" '_I can't lose the both of you! Not at the same time!'_

Natsu gritted his teeth, his face out of Erza's sight. "It's not like I didn't think about it," he grimaced.

"Then why?"

He lied again – he had to. "He helped me – He deserved a chance to redeem himself." Natsu didn't know if he could stomach the very words coming out of his mouth for long.

"But you…hated him," Erza could plainly recall the rage with which Natsu had battled Jellal with. It wasn't like his usual rages that got him fired up at opponents – this one was personal because of a number of reasons. It involved her. Her eyes widened with a small self-realization but Natsu didn't give her much time to dwell on it.

"Yeah I did. He made you cry. Whenever you think about him, he makes you want to cry, doesn't he?" With that, Natsu turned to look at her with the most complicated expression she'd ever seen on Natsu's young face. Sadness…anger…resignation…self-loathing… These things she had rarely seen on Natsu's face, much less altogether but the most prevalent one among them made her heart ache just to see it on his face. Pain, it was the best word she could describe, the internal sort of pain that one felt that people could see but only so very few could ever hope to ease. A pain that Erza felt she mirrored on her own face after Jellal had been led away. The pain of coming so close to having something so important to you, only to lose it right through your fingertips.

"…Na…tsu…"

"C'mon, it's late, everyone should be worried about us…" He put a hand on her shoulder as he walked past and Erza froze. Not in fear of her life or his, but of loss. Of losing a part of Natsu Dragneel that she had come to love and rely upon. She didn't know why but she felt more alone than ever. Jellal's arrest by the Council she could handle in time…he was there for her, they all were. But now…

She turned to look at his back as he walked back towards the camp, his shoulders slouched despite the obvious effort to walk upright. Suddenly it hit her as to why she was feeling this way and the realization served to only increase her innate fear as her body shivered suddenly but it wasn't due to the air's temperature.

Natsu's hand was cold.

* * *

Arakan's Corner: Wow, an angsty one! I can probably do better with it but meh, it's midnight and I wanted to put one out relatively quick. Hopefully with all the on-line classes I have, I still can squeeze time in to keep writing more Natza fiction as I do have a lot of ideas for the two + Jellal. And Kuro-kun will tell you, I got LOTS... ^^; Next up, I hope to finish 'Don't Die Erza' before I tackle the other ideas.

Natsu/Knightwalker - Too bad they didn't interact at all during the Edolas arc so I have to go off how Knightwalker interacted with everyone else. Will be a dark fic since...well, Knightwalker is pretty dark herself.

A Taste of Cake - I haven't forgotten it and I'm working on Erza's side without making it into a sex romp. Despite her imagination, Erza's a naive girl and I want to make sure that I put that across in the story.


End file.
